Bush Administration announces effort to reduce greenhouse gas emissions through "wishful thinking" (satire)

Bush Administration announces effort to reduce greenhouse gas emissions through "wishful thinking" (satire)

Friday, June 01, 2007 by: Mike Adams
(NewsTarget Satire)

In a significant nod toward pro-environment politics, the Bush Administration yesterday announced a major initiative to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by encouraging everybody to engage in "Wishful Thinking" to cut emissions without harming the economy. "Wishing for change is far more important than actually cutting greenhouse emissions," Bush said in a prepared statement. "We urge all Americans to take up Wishful Thinking to lower CO2 emissions and, if necessary, to even use up their birthday wishes in this national effort."

Bush's science team approved the scientific validity of the plan, citing strong evidence that wishing gets things done. "Nearly half the voters wished that Bush would be elected president, and that came true," said one science officer. "There's no reason to believe the same effort of Wishful Thinking won't also produce a second miracle." President Bush also said he watched "The Secret" and is now invoking the power of intention to end global warming in a way that won't harm the economy.

To help businesses comply with the administration's Wishful Thinking policy of CO2 emissions reduction, the Bush Administration will issue small copper brass lamps (made in China) to all polluters in the United States, along with instructions to rub the genie lamps and make three wishes before firing up any coal plant, automobile or manufacturing facility. Individual citizens will also be required to engage in Wishful Thinking to stop global warming,

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